Love and Loss
by Sakura Masaki
Summary: Squall decides that he and Laguna need to call it quits... but how long will it last before they realize that they need eachother? angst and smarm abound. yaoi, het and well... everything else! SQUALL AND LAGUNA IF YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT!!!!
1. Chapter 1

I sit in my office, trying to get through all that damned paper work and trying to keep myself from thinking about him every other second. Squall... Just thinking the name hurts worse than any injury I ever got in the army. Does he feel the same way? Or am I just a tottering, lovesick, old man? Maybe I am everything he said I am... reckless, childish... maybe even a hazard. I know the consequences of my actions. I'm not an idiot, like most think I am. I am a man...and I am in love with someone amazing. But he's still young... he still has to learn who he is. Not Commander... Not hero of the world... Not killer... Squall... just Squall. The same Squall that I see in those rare, secret smiles. In the way he looks as he sleeps in my arms after we make love. In the way his eyes glow and spark, and how his skin flushes as we are joined. He is beautiful... and now he's gone. Back to that world that tore him down... And that girl who broke his heart. I sigh softly, tossing my glasses on the desk in front of me as I lean back in the chair and put my feet on the edge of the desk. Tears gather in my eyes again, as I try to fight them off only to find that fighting them makes them come faster. I wince as I my hand brushes over the bruised cheek that he bestowed on me. It's my only souvenir of our very last fight... Well... that and the heartache and guilt... I get up and slowly make my way to the window and sigh, "You got the last hit in, Squall... I hope you can find some comfort in that..." 


	2. Chapter 2

Squall stared thoughtfully out of the window in his office, as he waited for Rinoa to get ready for dinner. He hadn't thought that leaving Laguna would be this hard. Ever since that day that he'd stormed out of his apartment, he'd had a dull ache in his heart. An ache that seemed to get bigger with every passing day that he was apart from Laguna. "Damn aggravating man..." he muttered, as he shook his head, trying to rid himself of all the memories, "I can't get away from you, even when we're a world apart..." "...Squall?" a soft voice called, breaking Squall from his reverie. He turned to find Rinoa standing there, "Sorry... I was thinking..." Rinoa smiled and took his hand, tugging him towards the door, "That's okay! Let's go! I'm starved!!" Squall nodded, as he let himself be dragged out the door, and thought, "Take care of yourself, idiot..."  
  
(All right.. this next part is gonna be in script form.. just cause it's a bitch to write out any other way. ^___^ My Laguna muse took over the idea and ran with it... Scene takes place in a bar, outside of Esthar)  
  
Laguna:(trudges in and sits at the bar, sighing heavily) Bartender: What'll it be, mister? Laguna: Scotch.. straight up... make that a double... (leans his chin in his hand and munches half heartedly at the pretzels) Bartender hands him the drink, and Laguna downs it in one gulp, grimacing slightly. Laguna: another... 7 drinks and 3 pretzel bowls later... Laguna: and THEN *hic* He just waltzed into MY apartment and punched me! I mean *hic* What kinda love ish that! Gimme another one a those drinks kid... Bartender: (looks worried) ummm. I think you've had enough, sir.. Laguna: NONSENSE! You think I Can't Hold my *hic* Liquer? (grabs another drink and downs it. Then breaks into very loud sobs) I had it so good! What happened? Where did it go wrong? I have a great well paying job! I own a country! I had the love of my life! Sure he was *hic* my son, but that didn't matter! Then he just up and left me for that cow he dares to call a girlfriend. (hits his head on the bar. as a girl tries to walk around him he grabs her hand) I have some advice for you, little girl! Never fall for an army guy! *breaks into more uncontrollable crying, as the terrified girl, runs out the door, bumping into Squall and Rinoa.) Girl: hey... Watch out, there's some drunk guy in there rambling about how his boyfriend dumped him... Squall: (raises an eyebrow and gently leads Rinoa in, only to find a hysterical Laguna at the bar) oh Hyne... Laguna: (having moved to an angry/miserable hysterical stage) Well.. who needs him, anyway?! Sure I was madly in love with him! Sure, he was the best thing in my life! Sure he was my reason to live! But ya know what! That doesn't matter anymore! And you can all mark my words on that!! (points around the room, then his gaze falls on Rinoa and Squall) Even yo... oh... shit... Squall: (looking very severe, with Rinoa clinging to his arm) Hello President Loire... Laguna: (wide-eyed) Squa... (promptly passes out, hitting the floor) Squall: (looks at the bartender) Where's your phone? Bartender: (takes out a phone from behind the bar, wide-eyed) Here.. Squall: (nods in thanks and dials a number, waiting)... Hello Kiros? 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 8. duh. *sprays "Lawyer-b- gone"*  
  
Warning: Okay! It's a yaoi! And if you don't know who the two main characters are, it's also incest! YES! Laguna and Squall have a relationship in this story. If that bothers you. are makes you want to hurt me. DON'T READ IT! If you flame me with stupid things, I will mock you and never respect you, because guess what? This is MY story! Like I said, if you don't like what's in it. DON'T READ IT! All righty. Some m/f for the time being. No lemon. so sorry. So that's it. Read if you dare, and enjoy. And Please review. constructive criticism! WEEEE!!! On with the madness  
  
Love and Loss  
  
Laguna sighed as he lay on the couch in his office, pressing an ice pack to his swollen eye. "So." Kiros said, handing Laguna some aspirin and a glass of water, "What happened?" Laguna sighed softly, taking the pills, as he looked at Kiros, warily. Kiros sighed and sat on the desk across from him, "I may not like what you two have, but I do care about you. You're my friend." Laguna sat up, and leaned forward, rolling the glass in his hands, as he said, softly, "Had. What we had." Kiros expression softened, as he sat next to Laguna and said, "Tell me about it." Laguna considered Kiros for a moment, and then nodded.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
Laguna watched Squall closely, in confusion. One minute he had almost gotten Squall out of his shell, and then the next thing he knew, Squall had shrunk back in. only now he wasn't even talking to Laguna. "Did you have a good time?" Laguna asked, as he lightly stroked Squall's leg. Squall just shrugged, not even bothering to look at Laguna, as he pulled away from his touch. "Umm. they really seemed to like you." "Whatever." Laguna sat back and sighed, in aggravation, "Hyne, Squall! What the hell is wrong with you today?!" Squall turned and said quietly, anger seething in his voice, "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me! How dare you say that?! I think the real question is, What the hell is wrong with you?" "How dare I.? What?!" Laguna cried, in angry confusion, "What the hell are you talking about?!" "You're so reckless! And careless! And irresponsible!! What if someone had found out about us?! THEN where would we be?!" Squall yelled. Laguna's eyes narrowed and his lips thinned, "You're one to talk! No wonder they call you the Ice Queen of Balamb." The moment those words escaped his lips. and Laguna saw the wave of intense hurt that washed across his lover's face. a hurt that not even Squall could hide, Laguna regretted saying them with all of his being.  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
"So. he punched me and left. Said it was over. but I don't know which hurt more. The hit, or the look on his face." Laguna sighed, trying to hold back tears. Kiros patted Laguna's shoulder, in the only way he could think of to comfort his comrade, as Laguna covered his face with his hands, "I was an idiot again. and I lost the best thing in my life, because of it." Laguna looked at Kiros and laughed, bitterly, "I bet this is the happiest day of your life. The distraction is gone." Kiros sighed, "That's not true. Like I said before, I didn't like it. but you were happy. And I was happy for you." Then, the intercom buzzed and Kiros answered, "Yes?" "Someone is here to see President Loire, sir." The secretary said. "Send them in." Kiros said, as he gave Laguna another reassuring pat, and Laguna tried to pull himself together. That is. until he saw who it was. Kiros looked from the newcomer to a seething Laguna and said, "I'll just be going now." Then, he quickly made his way out of the potential battle zone.  
  
To be continued! Who is the newcomer? You all probably know. I suck at cliff hangers. lol ~Sakura 


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters! WEEE!!! I'm not making any money off of this. (except for the people that are trying to pay me to STOP writing it… right) There are yaoi themes in this!! That mean m/m relationships. There are m/f relationships too. There is incest. But, come on, it's such a beautiful coupling. Okay, that's it. I don't own theme, no money for the poor in-debt high school student. *Sprays "Lawyer-b-Gone"*

Love and Loss: Chapter 4 

****

            "Good Afternoon, President Loire."

            "Good afternoon… Ms. Heartily…" Laguna ground out, as he motioned for Rinoa to have a seat.

            As she did, he sat behind his desk and said, "What can I do for you?"

            "Oh! Well ya see Laguna." She said, happily, Laguna flinching at the informal use of his name, "May I call you Laguna? Anyway! I wanted to get to know you, since your son and I are pretty serious. And you being his dad, I figured that you'd like to get to know me too!"

            By the end of her rambling, Laguna had gone pale, and his knuckles were white as he clutched the desk, "R…really? He hasn't said much to me…"

            "Well, you know Squall. He's very shy." She smiled, as she leaned over, whispering secretively, "I'm pretty sure he's actually planning to propose soon."

She giggled, and Laguna turned green, almost knocking over a glass of water, "But don't tell him I said anything. He'd kill me!"

            "No problem there…" Laguna murmured, as he took a sip of the water.

            Rinoa glanced at her watch, "Shoot! I'm late for my manicure. I'll call you and we can go have lunch or something… soon!"

            Laguna, not even able to stand, just stared at her as she flounced out of the office. The moment the door closed, he banged his head on the desk, "Well…I guess it's really… over…"

            He felt a fresh wave of tears fill his eyes, and he searched his desk for a box of Kleenex. Then, his hand hit cold metal and he slowly pulled out a revolver. He sat there staring at it and thought, "What's the point…? Without Squall… what's the point?"

            The secretary popped her head in the room and said, "Sir? Mr. Seagil wanted to let you know that he's leaving for the night." 

            Laguna sighed and put the gun away, "Thank you, Marie…"

            She turned to leave and Laguna said, "Hey Marie… Are you busy tonight?"

            She smiled and said, "Not at all, sir."

            "Wanna come to dinner with me?"

            "That would be lovely, sir."

            Laguna smiled, and grabbed his coat, standing next to her, offering his arm, "Call me Laguna." 

She took it and smiled up at him,  "Alright, Laguna…"

            He smiled back, hitting the lights, as they walked out of his office.

Buh-nuh-nuhhhhh…. Alright folks! Please review! Tell me what you want to happen! Anything! WEE! Fun, interactive reading! Okay I'm done… 'Till next chapter! 


	5. Chapter 5

Love and Loss: Part 5 Sakura Masaki Disclaimer: m/m pairing. Incest. IT'S SQUALL AND LAGUNA! I don't own the characters. *sprays patent "Lawyer-b-gone"*  
  
Squall glanced up as the waiter led Rinoa to the table. She grinned and kissed him on the cheek before sitting down. "What would you like to drink, madam? Sir?" the waiter asked. "Just water for now." Rinoa smiled. The waiter turned to Squall, "Sir?" "Same." Squall answered, quietly. The waiter bowed and walked away, as Rinoa grinned, "So how was your day? What did you do?" Squall shrugged a little and played with his napkin, idly, "Same as every day." They sat in silence and Rinoa squirmed awkwardly, before bouncing and saying, "Guess who I saw today?!" Squall raised an eyebrow and stared at her levelly, nodding as the waiter set down their drinks. Her grin faltered a little and she sat back, "Hmm. anyway, I visited your father. I was telling him how close we are becoming, and that I hope he'll be ready for the wedding." Squall's eyes bugged and he choked out, "What?! You said something about a wedding?!" She shrunk back in her seat and whimpered softly, "The. the wedding. w.we are getting so close, I just kinda figured." Squall shot out of his chair and sprinted out to the car, thinking, "Shit... Laguna!" Then, when he realized that he left the keys, he sprinted off towards the palace.  
  
Laguna sat in his windowsill, cradling a beer in his hand and sighed. Marie had listened to all of his trouble and then took him home, saying that what he needed, he wouldn't find with her. He knew she was right, but that still left him home alone with just his bottle of beer. Then, there was a bang and Laguna turned to find a red, panting Squall in the doorway. "Squall?" Laguna breathed, incredulously, as he made his way over. Squall grabbed his shoulders and panted, "No. wedding." Laguna led him to the couch, looking confused, "Just. catch your breath. I don't understand." Squall took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "Rin. she told me. the wedding." Laguna wilted a little, looking down at his hands, "Ah. that. Well, I guess congratulations are in order." Squall shook his head, "It's not true. We aren't. I. I love you." Laguna looked up in shock, ".What?" Squall took another deep breath, then met Laguna's eyes and said, softly, "I love you." Laguna tried to fight back tears and squeaked, "I love you too, Squall." Squall leaned his forehead against Laguna's chest and gripped the front of his shirt. Laguna buried his face in Squall's hair and held him close. "I'm sorry. you were right." Squall murmured. "Right about what?" Laguna asked, softly. "I am an Ice Queen. and I'm sorry I punched you." Laguna ran his fingers through Squall's hair and said, "You were right, too. I am irresponsible at times." Then, he grinned mischievously, "Besides. it's fun to get to melt you every night." Squall smirked and sauntered over to the bedroom, "Bring it on, old man." Laguna grinned, as he chased Squall into the room, "I'll show you old!"  
  
~FIN~ 


End file.
